Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have sensationally asked King Charles for permission to change their titles to the Duke and Duchess of Hollywood.
It’s thought that the move could earn them millions – with Netflix potentially interested in paying way too much to film a 27-part docu-series on the name change, even if absolutely nothing of interest happens.
The name change is likely to be revealed in a chat with Oprah Winfrey, who will look suitably shocked when told the news.
American celebs who Harry and Meghan have tried to befriend in the States have apparently been left baffled by their Duke and Duchess of Sussex titles – regularly asking them « what is a Sussex? » and « is Sussex near Australia? »
Royal commentator Bennie Bond said: « Experts have told Harry and Meghan becoming the Duke and Duchess of Hollywood could be worth tens of millions.
« They’ve been telling friends they need a new sofa so having lots and lots of extra money for doing nothing is very appealing.
« Being the Duke and Duchess of Hollywood would also impress a lot of Hollywood‘s biggest names. Tom Cruise is going to want to hang out with them.
« Tom Hanks is going to want to be in on the action too. And Harry’s been threatening to go back to the UK if they can’t hang out with some celebs who aren’t James Corden. »
Meghan is reported to hope that by becoming the Duchess of Hollywood she’ll have to be nominated for an Oscar for her next video on Archewell’s website.
Hollywood gossip columnist Chad Chadson said: « This will instantly make Meghan the most famous woman in Hollywood – she’s already been in negotiations to star in Fast and Furious 523, or whatever number they’re up to.
« But if this happens they’ll be telling Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling to do one so Meghan can be Barbie and Ken in the sequel. »
Buckingham Palace is understood to have misgivings about the upset the decision could cause in Sussex. But as it’s one of the few places King Charles doesn’t have a massive mansion they haven’t ruled out approving the move.
An insider inside the inside of Buckingham Palace said: « Prince Andrew‘s heard the news and asked if he can now become Duke of Sussex. There’s a Pizza Express there he’s a big fan of so it would make a lot of sense.
« Harry’s told King Charles if he can’t become Duke of Hollywood he might have to write a sequel to Spare and go into even more unnecessary detail about how he lost his virginity.
« The last thing Charles wants is to have people reading the book and sniggering whenever he pops into his local WHSmith.
« To be honest, it could have been worse. Last year when he asked them what they wanted for Christmas, Harry said he wanted to be on first class stamps and Meghan wanted her picture on £50 notes. »
And in case you haven’t realised by now – check what date it is today!
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