Bowen says the men she speaks to perceive a lot more pressure around dating events, whereas women see it as more of an opportunity to build community. Women take the risk thinking they could make new friends or have a fun time even if they don’t find a relationship in the end, Bowen said.
Bowen encourages her clients to see the events as a tool to try new things and work out their social muscles.
“You know, practice makes almost perfect, is what I like to say,” Bowen said. “And I think that’s what comes with dating and meeting people in real life. … You just have to go up and do it, and it’s gonna get easier the more you do it. And I think that’s what these dating events are helping daters do.”
Everardo Montoya, 31, learned about the cornhole league from his friend Katie, who saw Flaim’s TikTok call for men and encouraged him to go. Sick of the dating apps and struggling to meet people organically, he said he decided to step out of his comfort zone.
A bit of an introvert when meeting new people, Montoya said he’s hesitant to approach other people because he doesn’t want to feel like he’s bothering anyone. But he found Tuesday’s event fun and low-pressure.
“It’s definitely less intimidating, for sure, because you know that everyone here is trying to find their person, right?” Montoya said. “So it’s like, even if you get rejected, it’s just like, it’s fine.”
Joe Wilhelm, 31, was actually looking to join a sports league and happened to start getting ads for the cornhole league on Instagram. Dating can be pretty horrible, he said, but even as a more personable type of guy, he wasn’t sure about a speed-dating league.
“Maybe girls are a little more emotionally open to events like this — for a guy, not so much,” Wilhelm said. “I mean, even for myself, I could talk to a wall, very social, but I had one of my friends kick me in the ass to tell me to come here.”
He guessed that maybe men could be “a little hardheaded” about stepping out of their comfort zone. But once there, Wilhelm said most of his interactions felt easy and organic.
“I feel like everyone here that I met knows how to socialize … but I feel like today’s generation is far from it,” Wilhelm said. “Everything’s behind a screen, and that’s how they communicate. So I like how we’re bringing back the history of dating and meeting people organically.”
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