Snooker loopy nuts are we…..Chas & Dave chirped in their 1986 classic. Forty years later, the song should be repurposed to describe the House of Commons on Wednesday lunchtimes. Total madness.
The rockney duo merrily sang about red, yellow, green and blue balls in their catchy mocking of snooker stars of the time. In the world of 2020s British politics we have our own version of the same colours but chuck teal in for extra spin.
This week’s PMQs saw Reform storming out of the Chamber, Ed Davey being a self proclaimed judge, Keir Starmer dodging questions left, right and centre, jokes about a stolen mobile phone and a sleeping dog.
It was all fairly Steve Davis bland to begin with, Sir Keir and Kemi Badenoch engaging in a back and forth over drilling in the North Sea.
But temperatures started to rise when the Prime Minister – at one point with his head in his hands – began to obfuscate, repeatedly claiming the Conservative leader hadn’t read legislation about oil and gas fields.
By the third time an exasperated Mrs B exclaimed “oh my god!”.
Ed Davey then upped the ante, the self-righteous honorable gentleman claiming the PM was right and Mrs Badenoch was wrong.
This is a woman who said she would tackle a shoplifter. A perma-clown Lib Dem leader, pfff.
I was sitting no more than 20 feet away and genuinely feared for his safety.
Then we reached Alex ‘Hurricane’ Higgins levels of chaos.
Reform’s commander in chief took Sir Keir to task over his failure to “smash” the migrant smuggling gangs.
Another non-answer was met with Farage leading his teal army out of the Commons in a huff.
Starmer attempted a joke responding to a following question from a Labour MP about the snooker world championship, suggesting Reform had realised “they’re absolutely snookered!”
But the image of the PM, head in hands, perhaps summed up what the nation thinks of our politicians.
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